Friday, March 27, 2009
Women love Labels.
We want to know the quality of the item we were seeking. We believe that if we at least know the name on the label, we are able to determine if the item is worth purchasing, sacrificing, and tailoring. If only we knew the label, we could make decisions on when and where to wear this item. The material, the fit, the color, and your feel in the item matters, but if the label is not suitable for your tastes some women shy away at even bringing the item along to certain events. Women love labels because the labels give women a since of how significant the item can appear to not only themselves, but society at large.
Unfortunately, we sometimes get so caught up in labels that we disregard how precious an item can be and ignore how it may compliment our features. Why shy away at a Payless pump if the color goes perfect with your gown and they feel great on your feet? Should we not just enjoy the time we have with the shoe and Thank the Lord they do not hurt our feet while out with friends? Far too often, we mistake labels with superiority and we miss the opportunity to just live in the moment. Yes, women love labels---especially when it comes to relationships.
Last night I sat with a close friend who is confused about a relationship with her boyfriend (or whatever label/category she will ultimately decide). We discussed the problems we both share with having to know exactly what our relationships with men mean. She explained that its easier to know what to expect when you have labels. She went on to say how much easier it is to know that you are with someone exclusively and he is with you too. So of course I had to play Devil's Advocate for while. I asked whats in a label? Is it not enough to know that you have a healthy relationship with a great guy? A guy who supports you, prays for you, and wants the best for you? Then we started to discuss, at what point is it really necessary to have a label?
According to Steve Harvey's new book, Act Like A Lady Think Like A man--there are five questions you must ask a man to know where you really stand in a relationship with him. But I will not spoil the book, you have to go buy your own!
I honestly think labels get in the way of building a relationship, but at the same time, it is comforting to know where you stand. This year I have resolved to focus on MsBlake and wholeheartedly believe that all things will come together in due time. Until then...live life and forget the labels....
...At least until my biological clock really starts to tick.
Women and Labels.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Before I call it a night, I had to post a comment on Barack Obama's Press Conference.
CNN's Ed Henry asked Barack Obama why it took him a few days to respond to the AIG Bonus fiasco.
My President said : "It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak."
He said it with a straight face and immediately moved on to the next question. I was initally shocked. Then I laughed. And I finally was like, "Yeah! Obama is no George W. Bush!"
Change has come...
A Harvard Professor named, Jeffrey Miron, recently wrote commentary for CNN arguing that Legalizing Drugs will Stop Violence.
In what world?
Although the Professor has some interesting points (e.g., prohibition breeding disrespect for the law but I think this has more to do with institutional discrimination especially targeting specific neighborhoods and groups of people), the majority made me very angry for a number of reasons.
1. Research shows that people in the most distressed situations turn to abusing alcohol and drugs to "ease the pain" of their hardships. The fact the there are a disproportiate number of African-Americans and Latinos enduring hardships leads to an inevitable spike in their abuse of alcohol and drugs. As a professional advocating for change in these types of communities and also as a fellow citizen, legalizing drugs would devastate these communities and add to their ongoing issues that have been present for decades. Do you recall what the boom in crack use did to Black families and neighborhoods in the 80s? Is it not already a problem that there is a liquor store on every street corner in Black neighborhoods. Just image adding hard drugs to the inventory...
2. If all drugs were made legal, we would still need task force to regulate the sale and distribution of these items. A great example of this issue is with alcohol. Colleges across the nation have to continuously deal with underage drinking. Parents are also increasingly unaware of their childrens' behaviors sometimes even at home. Far too often we hear sad stories of teens and young adults dying due to overdosing on drugs; not to mention the alcohol related car accidents that take the lives of innocent commuters. I think this will open up a can of worms!
3. These recreational activities do nothing to help people cope with their real problems. Drugs sugar coats real problems! This includes marijuana (oh I will hear it from some people I know)!
4. Another point, which is one of the most important is the fact that most of the illicit drugs this professor would condone legalizing are deadly. We all know that too much of a good thing is no good at all. Just think about someone who is not familiar at all with drugs and their side effects overdosing.
5. Its an unacceptable argument! Legalizing drugs to stop violence is ridiculous. I would argue that it will only make matters worse and bring drug abuse and crime to another level.
I wonder if this Professor's thinking would be different if he actually grew up in neighborhoods destroyed by drugs. I wonder if this Professor's thinking would be different if he his mother or father were addicted to crack all of his life.
This is another fine example of White Male Privilege.
I am sure I could come up with more reasons or arguements but I just could not wait to write this blog.
This is the dumbest thing I ever heard....
She got it! This woman has been holding it down even before Barack Obama announced his run for President. However, since winning the White House, Mrs. Obama has been everywhere! From working directly with military families to visiting area schools, she has made it clear that she wants to stay connected with the American people. This is definitely a good look...
Ok. Back to working on getting those "Michelle Obama" arms...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Despite whether or not you listen to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is being read by women of all colors, shapes, and sizes throughout America right now. I attempted to purchase the book the first week it was released and walked away from the bookstore very frustrated. When I finally purchased my copy of the book I could not put it down.
Harvey gives women some very interesting things to think about in his book, but there were definitely portions when I rolled my eyes as he suspected. I urge you to pick up a copy of the book for yourself and consider some of the things he mentions. Steve Harvey not only challenged the "Independent" women to let the man take the lead, but he also suggested that women start to set high standards and requirements of the men we date. He does of these things and more with funny descriptions/stories.
Pick it up! I promise that you will find it entertaining.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
According to MediaTakeOut.com, T.I.'s fiancee, Tiny, from the 90s R&B Group Xscape shared details of her relationship with Essence Magazine. Here is a excerpt from the article which I feel is amazing.
ESSENCE: What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about you and T.I.'s relationship?
TINY: "That we're not a real couple. They think because we're not married yet and have been engaged for two years that something must be wrong. I know it's a long time, but there are so many restrictions placed upon him now before we can think about planning a wedding. There is so much love between us it's ridiculous, and we like [spending] time together. So the things that people say and write about us doesn't bother me. I know what we have and what he shows me every day and that's all that matters."
ESSENCE: Do you have any words of encouragement for women who might be going through a similar situation as you?
TINY: "Yes. Depending on the situation and the person, you should stick it out through thick and thin—the good and bad times. If you know you're with someone who would give his life for you and is somewhat a responsible better half, then stand up for him. I know my man's heart and because of that I'm going to be everything I need to be for him. Yes, he's made mistakes, but so have I."
"If your man stands up for you and is there whenever you need him, then doesn't he deserve your unconditional love and support? If I know that about my man, then that's the kind of woman I'm going to be for him. I might need him in different ways than he needs me, but if being his woman means loving, supporting and putting his mind at ease, then the least I can do is step up to the plate and be there for him and our family."
Whether or not you believe T.I. continues to get the "milk for free," you have to admit she really loves him and he is blessed to have her. I think she held it DOWN!